*Disclaimer I’m sorry if this post seems a little out of character, but this needs to be said.
No, it needs to be shouted.
It needs to be written so many more times than I can count in my lifetime.
Because the tears I have cried this afternoon over the subject are real.
Being told you need inpatient treatment is not something to be envied. It’s not a goal to attain. And it’s not something I ever want to see romanticize on the Internet EVER AGAIN.
I’ve spent portions of my life there. Which, I’m not even going to waste my time trying to figure out exactly how long because it seriously DOES NOT MATTER.
I can understand the sense of competition that there isn’t an eating disorder world. Who can be the thinnest. Who can eat the smallest amount. Who can get the most feeding tubes jammed up their noses so they can post "cute" NG pics on Instagram.
I have seen the dark side of recovery posts. That tempting draw to brag about how sick you made yourself is real.
BUT WHAT IS IT WORTH??
Last year I hit rock bottom. And I decided that I will never EVER be going back there
It’s miserable on the way down to rock bottom and on the off-chance you survive, it’s an even more miserable road on your way back to the real world.
I would not wish to this round trip to the middle earth on ANYONE.
Being in treatment is not a lifestyle. It’s not a vacation. It’s not glamorous. It’s intense.
So PLEASE if you’re ever attempted to follow Instagram accounts that support illness, do not do it. You are willingly sending yourself down a rabbit hole that can be avoided. Instagram has an algorithm. Outsmart it. Let the positive recovery figures you follow set the tone for your feed.
I hate that people who are trying to pursue recovery get thrown off by these every single day. It makes my heart hurt more than words can say.
You are so loved.
**Disclaimer: We at Live RecoverED encourage you to attend the level of care for eating disorder treatment that you need and is recommended to you. The above post is a message to not glamorize treatment, or make "getting into" a higher level of care a goal for your eating disorder. You are sick enough to recover and get better no matter what. You don't need any eating disorder diagnosis, higher level of care, hospitalization, certain lowest weight, etc to show that you are worthy and deserving of recovery.
Connect with Molly on Instagram @recover.or.die2020